Musalaha Newsletter
March 2006

From Foreigners to Fellow Citizens: Reconciliation and Identity
If you mention religion or politics, you might automatically prepare yourself for a heated discussion, voices raised, or even attacks against you personally.  Another issue that is emotionally charged is the subject of identity. Often we avoid the topic, sensing that it could be upsetting to some or insensitive to others.  In a recent seminar held among Palestinians on identity, the discussions and debates on this issue reached an unexpectedly emotional level.  The sensitivities of the subject became apparent again later at a different conference, when one person challenged someone from the other side about their identity, and that person got up and left the room.
Identity is often found at the heart of conflict.  It is evident that identity plays a critical role in both the Israeli and Palestinian society.  Both societies are still in a deep inner search to define their identities.  What does it mean to call oneself a “Palestinian” or an “Arab Israeli”? “Who is a Jew?” is frequently debated in Israeli government and Jewish discourse.  In order to confront these deep issues, recently Musalaha conducted a seminar on the issue of identity. (Please see the report is included in this newsletter.) 
The discussion exists not only attempting to define identity from within; identity also comes into play when groups interact either in positive encounters or inter-group conflict.  Practitioners in reconciliation have recognized that identity is both a root and a consequence of inter-group hostility and offenses.  Social science research shows that the issue of identity plays an important role and may contribute to conflict, and at the same time conflict also influences people’s identity.      
Much is written addressing the relationship of identity and reconciliation.  In Reconciliation, Curtiss Paul DeYoung discusses this theme.
“I believe that at the root of our need for deep personal and societal healing is a crisis of identity.  Many of the wars throughout history and much of the domestic strife today were born from a need to assert one’s individual or group identity at the expense of others.  Also much of the division found in society is based on efforts to define and distinguish ourselves, whether by religion, race, ethnicity, or gender…. The act of exalting one’s identity over another’s by embracing a false sense of superiority cuts off any meaningful interaction with other members in the human family.  It greatly limits one’s ability to experience communion with God as well, because we are ignoring God’s intent in creation” (p. 115). 
So often in group relationships, there is a denial and rejection of the other’s identity.  One group puts demands on the other to submit or to conform their identity.  Aspects of culture, heritage and history are suppressed because they are uncomfortable or different.  In this context, there is the added dimension that Israeli Messianic and Palestinian Christian believers are minorities in their communities, often feeling that they have to prove their loyalties to their people.
In facing the issues of identity, the forum for healing is community and reconciliation.  While some may have the instinct to withdraw and separate, they must move past this withdrawal phase in order to progress in reconciliation.  The wounds caused by identities in conflict will be healed and redeemed through relationship that is initiated by Christ’s act of reconciliation on the cross.
Ephesians 2 confronts the hostility that exists in relationships, whether on inter-personal or inter-group level.  In this act of reconciliation, Christ put to death our hostility and enmity, and he does so by bringing people together.  We are dependent on each other to end the hostility that is between our groups and within ourselves.  There is a solidarity in sinfulness and a solidarity in redemption.  Our identities are transformed in relationship and not in separation.  When coming to the foot of the cross, we require each other in order to deal with the hostility in our hearts and to establish peace and bring healing. 
“The bad news of our crisis of identity and inherited pain can be overcome by the good news of a God who truly loves us and wants us to be whole.  The message of reconciliation with God is that through Jesus Christ we can become a ‘new creation’ (2 Cor. 5:17), at peace with God.” DeYoung continues, quoting pastoral counselor Gene Knudsen, “Healthy people are not destructive. They do not wound nor annihilate one another with guns or bombs.  Healthy people are able to share; they are concerned for the well-being of others.  They are grateful for life, and have compassion for others – even their enemies…” (p.120).   
This process is evident in Ephesians 2:19-22, where Paul says in Christ we move from being in enmity into being members of the same household.  We are no longer strangers and foreigners to each other, but fellow citizens and equal members in the household of God.  The dramatic change in relationship brings familiarity, closeness and a new identity.  We move from having a crisis of identity that denies and rejects the other, to a redeemed identity that embraces the other, and as such allows a dwelling place for the spirit of God.
~ Salim J. Munayer, PhD, Director

WOMEN’S ACTIVITIES
Several years ago, Musalaha cancelled its largest event, the annual woman’s conference, and changed its approach to woman’s work.  We decided, in a step of faith, to shift to developing small groups that meet regularly throughout the year, in order to a more intimate and in-depth encounter.  While the large meeting was successful, the effect of a small-group approach has proven highly effective.  Already in the first three months of 2006, five different groups gathered either for a day or several days.  In addition, the women who participate are visiting each others’ homes, praying for one another, and reaching out through gifts, phone calls, and personal support.  It is a blessing and encouragement to see women leading the way in ‘seeking and pursuing peace.’ Below are reports from two of the programs.

Women’s Conference
December 2-4, 2005
"This group is not a coincidence…. The women were handpicked by God… a perfect puzzle.  I want contact with you all on a regular basis. I want true friendships.” 
The 20 participants in Musalaha’s Women’s Leadership Conference composed a very special group of women.  This group was distinguished by the broad base of different communities and congregations represented.  Many of the women had little previous or in-depth involvement in reconciliation activities.   There was quite a mix of backgrounds, especially in the Israeli side, some born and raised in Israel, and some were immigrants who have spent most of their adult years here.  From the Palestinian side, a number of women from the Palestinian Territories had never met Messianic Israelis.  Still, it was more than the diversity of the participants that created this exceptional environment, it was the openness and excitement that they brought along.
Our first lesson was on listening.  After reflecting on verses on how God listens to us, even concerning our smallest needs, we were given some practical tools that we continuously put into practice throughout the conference.  We emphasized the importance of hearing a person through until the end.  Also we recognized that we all have perspectives and experiences that influence the way we hear others.  This is particularly true in our situation, where it is sometimes difficult to hear from the other side without putting up our defenses. 
This session and the activity that followed sent the tone for the entire conference.   For the rest of the morning, women shared their stories.  We heard from each person about their lives, background, and their motivation and experiences in approaching reconciliation.  Through these stories we gained insight not only into the individual, but also into their communities and the issues that people face on a personal and community level.  Some of the women spoke about how they approached the conference with hesitance and slight fear, worried that the sessions would be full of accusations, disputes, and antagonism.  Instead, this beginning on a very personal level brought the group into an atmosphere of listening, openness and empathy.  Immediately from the first day, walls were broken and women were sharing each others burdens, crying, praying and also laughing together. 
In other sessions we explored the stages of reconciliation that people and groups experience.  It helped to identify different phases of relationship building, sharing, withdrawal, and commitment that we experience now or in the future as we progress in reconciliation.  We also looked at the qualities of a leader through the role of Abigail in the story of David and Nabal.  She was one among many women who we looked at in the Bible who played a critical role in a certain situation.  In this story, Abigail avoided a bloody conflict by taking courageous steps of ‘mediation.’  Small group discussion followed each session, where we were given time to explore the themes, and in doing so, gained deeper insight into each other’s lives, struggles, personalities, ministries. 
While our time together spent in conference was vital, in Musalaha’s experience it has always been a key factor to include opportunities for different kinds of interaction.  One of the days, we took a break from the meeting room and stepped outside into the beautiful ruins of the ancient Nabotean city of Petra.  Renowned in the Middle East and around the world for its beautiful tombs and monuments carved into the red sandstone, the incredible beauty of the place even brought tears to some of our eyes.  Being outdoors together, provided a chance to walk together, to drift between different women in the group and have conversations.  This setting created an excellent setting for building relationships.  As one of the participants said, “As way of observation and stating the obvious... a mutual fun and different activity such as going into Petra did as much as for reconciliation as did the seminars.”
            "I enjoyed the conference simply because I learnt so much from all my sisters. It was important for me to understand how the sisters live in Bethlehem and its surrounding, to get to know your [Musalaha’s] work and vision…. The day in Petra helped us to get to know one another in a very relaxed atmosphere - being out in nature, helping one another to walk and climb, and enjoy the day together.
The final day of the conference was interrupted by the announcement of renewed violence back home.  Our first thought was for family and friends.  Immediately our group went to prayer, crying for God’s mercy and healing in our land.   We also were concerned about the impact of this event on our group.  Would the ugly realities of our situation through off this delicate process that we had begun?  To the contrary, the importance of reconciliation and reaching the communities with the message of peace became very real.
This group of woman proved to be women of action.  Following the conference there was a real hunger to continue the fellowship in a very tangible way.  We returned to our communities in high spirits, and already with specific plans to meet again.
"I just wanted to say how GREAT it was to be with all of you. I pray that each thing that the Lord did in our hearts while we were together will remain strong in the test of time….I will say again how wonderful it was for me to be together with you all and make new friends and fan the flame of God’s love and reconciliation he gave us on the cross.”

Women on the Third side
While the perception might be that the people of this land are very clearly divided into two sides, there are those of us living here permanently who are neither Arab nor Jewish… a “third side.”  Naturally we face many of the concerns and issues that everyone faces in this complex reality. Some of us have the additional challenge of at times feeling like an ‘outsider’ because we are neither Jewish nor Arab.    
Eighteen of us came together last weekend to meet as this “third side.”   Some of us are married to Palestinians living in the Palestinian territories or Israel.  Others are married to Israeli Jews and some to Armenians.  Yet others of us live and work here among different people groups in the land. Most have been here for more than 15 years, a number more than 30, and we are either temporary or permanent residents, or have citizenship. We share the burden of our communities, yet have the opportunity to see beyond what is happening on the ground, and all share a heart for reconciliation between the communities we have been called to. It was for this purpose that we gathered.
The theme for the weekend was “Transformed by trouble: what is our purpose?” Together we did a Bible study and people had a lot to share, most of us naturally having experienced troubles both personally and in our communities.  As we met, we heard each others’ stories. This in itself was a huge encouragement and we could see how God had brought each one of us to the country in a different way.  Some of us had felt isolated, feeling that we were the only ones in our situation.  When we met with others in our group, although each of our situations is different, we felt we were not alone.
As one participant shared, “The retreat was for me about 25 years in coming!
As K. summed it up - We felt that we had found somewhere where we truly "fit in" and had something to contribute! It was both moving and encouraging to hear the testimonies of the women - all of whom have faced some unique trials, yet we could identify with each one in some way. For me it was like the release of steam in a pressure cooker - able to unwind and just be yourself and of course share and laugh about things which could only be meaningful to women in our situation. A real tonic.”
The women wanted to hear about how it was to live on the “other side,” and we were able to hear what it was like to live in Bethlehem, Yavne, Nazareth.   There was a strong desire to know about each others’ experiences.  One woman described our group as a rich tapestry, everyone living different lives in different corners, but sharing similar concerns.
In each of our contexts, we face the challenge of living as a believer.  The issues might be different if you are living as a Christian in Nazareth or married to Messianic Jew, however we all shared the desire to be a witness in our own community.  Each woman’s deep commitment and long-standing walk with the Lord made a big difference in this group, and being together was very encouraging spiritually.
One woman shared, “As somebody belonging to this complex country and its often harsh reality only through marriage it means a lot to meet ‘sisters’ in similar situations and hear their stories. We have a lot to give each other. It is really faith-building to hear about the ways of God - so different and yet so full of mercy and grace - with each one. It was a relief to be able to laugh together and heart-lifting to wonder together at the richness of the human experience of being a child of God.”
One important quality that we all sensed in this group is that all of us are sure of our calling to this land and to its people, and are committed to being here with our families and our communities. Despite the difficulties, we are committed to strengthening our walk with the Lord so we can truly be vessels in his hand and be used by him. We have hearts to serve him in reconciliation and believe an important way we can do this is by strengthening our ties together in the different communities to which we have been called and by drawing strength from one another.
The consensus after the weekend was to meet again as a support group and to go deeper and further in our relationships.  We are open to where God is leading and are expecting great things together.

Identity Conference
The group faced six chairs with signs on them.  The signs read:  Israeli, Palestinian, Arab, Muslim, Jewish and Christian. 
“Which of these is most important to your identity,” the facilitator asked. 
Twenty-eight of the thirty young adults drifted towards the chair marked “Christian.”  The remaining two walked over to the Palestinian sign.
“Okay, choose another one that is the next important description of who you are.”  Here the group divided.  Most of participants with Israeli citizenship, who are of Palestinian Arab background, gathered around the “Arab” sign.  Two of them went to the chair marked “Israeli.”  The Palestinians who live in the Palestinian Territories went straight to the Palestinian side.  Questions arose.  The groups challenged each others choices.  In the discussion, participants shared their thoughts that sometimes we chose to present ourselves to others in a way that will not put us at risk of disapproval.  Someone in the group gave the example that those who chose “Arab” as opposed to “Palestinian,” were seeking for a more neutral term.  The conversations intensified as participants examined the intricacies of identity.
Confusing?  The subject of identity is a complex matter under most circumstances, as we live in a world of increasing mobility, overlapping communities and mixed cultural backgrounds.  In circumstances such as the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, identity is an even more complicated and weighty matter.  How we define ourselves and others can be a political statement.  Determining identity can be seen as an affirmation or disapproval of nationalities or religions.  Identity influences how parties relate to one another and behave towards each other.  While parts of our identity are positive expressions of culture, tradition, and rich history, at the same time, our identification with a group can mean adopting certain negative attitudes towards the other.  In order to embrace and understand the other, we must also comprehend ourselves, and as such identity is an important factor in reconciliation.
As a result, Musalaha conducted a conference for 30 Palestinian young adults in January 2006 to examine this issue.  The Palestinian Arab Christians living within the borders of the Palestinian Territories and Israel exist in complex reality, as a minority among Muslims and among Jews.  In this context, the Palestinians are not the only ones in an identity search.  Israelis, and especially Messianic Israelis, contain many complexities in examining their identity.  The topic of identity is a timely and highly relevant issue that merits exploration when bringing the two groups into reconciliation encounters.
The conference brought together the young adults for the purpose of discussing the topic of identity through discussions, lectures and activities such as the one described above.  Many of the participants found the seminar helpful, particularly since there is some separation between those living in Israel and those living in the Palestinian Territories.  Differences exist in their life experiences, educational systems, socio-economic situation, governments and relationship to Israel.  The conference provided a forum to put forth questions about identity, discuss experiences and learn from each other.  
Amidst the complexity of identity and its impact on reconciliation, it is important for believers to understand our identity in light of the Scriptures.  We can encourage one another to explore our identity in Christ, and see each other in the image and likeness of the Creator.  In doing so, we fight the tide of prejudice, dehumanization and the cycle of violence.  Therefore coming together in an attempt to understand group identity is an important process in taking steps towards reconciliation with other groups.  As one participant said, “If I know who I am, I’ll know how to proceed.”

Munayer Family Update

This month has been busy with the boys’ swimming competitions.  Daniel and John competed on a national level and did very well.   Along with Sam, the three of them achieved gold medals in the YMCA Jerusalem competition.  Jack has joined a gym with a friend. Despite their workouts they seem to be gaining weight. I am told that it is muscle mass and not due to the cafe adjoining. Salim and I managed to survive the birthday season with Daniel (14), followed by Sam (complete with noisy 8 yr old boys party) then John (12) the week after.  The boys are looking forward to camps during the Easter holiday.
I (Kay) must tell you about my olivewood (hand-painted Easter eggs) and marmalade project to raise funds for the Shepherd Society, a charity for Palestinian Christians in Bethlehem. Before Christmas I went to Bethlehem and took a few nativity sets and tree decorations from Palestinian Christian producers to sell at bazaars in Jerusalem.  Within a matter of days I was selling at bazaars, churches, from the house, back of the car…. Soon the living room was full of boxes and I had no time for anything but business! The family ate leftovers continually, the house was dirty, and Salim and the boys had to fend for themselves on all fronts.   I really had fun! Now for the Easter holiday, we are selling olivewood Easter eggs and marmalade.  It has been wonderful helping others and enjoying myself at the same time!