Musalaha Newsletter
March 2007

Introduction

In this spring newsletter we are delighted to report about our progress in reconciliation as we move toward a new stage; this newsletter will focus on three break-through reports. The first report is about the Leaders’ Family Reunion and dealing with our historical narrative. Our historical narrative, a source of disagreement and hurt, is an important process in reconciliation. The report describes how we successfully dealt with an issue that usually divides us instead of bringing us together. Another report is concerning a new break-through in our youth and reconciliation activities, and the third one covers the formation of a new women’s group. In each one of these activities we have the sense that we are pealing the layers off, like pealing an artichoke, entering into the depth of core issues that divide the Israelis and Palestinians in conflict.

I am thankful to God that our decision to focus on building and
strengthening relationship is bearing fruit and enable us to discuss very
painful issues which more often than not bring division not unity.
Instead of dividing us, dealing with these issues is strengthening our relationships.

Thank you for praying for us and enabling us to move forward in  the process of reconciliation!
~ Salim J. Munayer, PhD, Director

Leader’s Family Reunion

Each year Musalaha holds a number of leaders’ conferences and follow-up gatherings. One weekend in February we brought together two such groups, with their spouses and children, to meet for two days in a kibbutz near Jericho. Since one group had its last conference in Holland and the other in Germany our meeting in the dramatic desert-mountain landscape of our own backyard seemed to further reinforce the message of this conference: we have to bring reconciliation home.
Approximately 90 children and 50 adults attended. The purpose of the follow-up conferences is to further strengthen and deepen individual participant relationships with one another and to continue discussions of sensitive issues. To that end we spent the first afternoon and evening dining together, worshipping together, having fun with the kids, and renewing acquaintances among the fragrant spring blossoms of the kibbutz courtyard. Some participants had not been in contact with us since the conference last year, so there was a lot of catching up to do. The general atmosphere was warm and loving, and we laughed and teased together like brothers and sisters gathered at a family reunion after too much time apart.
As the youth went off to their activities the adults meet together to resume the hard work of reconciliation. The air became tense as we began addressing the issue of historical narratives.

Our historical narratives, both as Palestinians and Israelis, have been used to justify our positions in the conflict and to deny one another’s truth. They are an extremely sensitive issue to us all. Confronting them as a major barrier to reconciliation is a technique our future community leaders need to learn. In order to teach the skill we broke into four groups separating the Israelis and Palestinians.
We asked each of the groups to write the narrative of the 1948 establishment of the state of Israel from the perspective of the other group. Back together as a large group each of the groups presented their narratives, defended it, and received feedback regarding the accuracy/inaccuracy of their portrayal of the event.
Several observations were immediately apparent: 1) Each group was capable of writing the other’s narrative, but everyone was uncomfortable doing so. There was no small amount of cynical laughter and snickering to be heard as the groups worked! 2) Israelis and Palestinians had very different perspectives on what happened in ’48. This was apparent both from the narratives, and especially from the feedback sessions after each narrative was presented.

3) It was relatively easy for both Israelis and Palestinians to report on the events and rationality behind them. They could answer questions regarding the other groups perspective like, “What did they think about X when it happened?” On the other hand, answering questions that called for empathy relating to the other group’s emotions, such as, “How did they feel when X happened?” was much more difficult. They could do it, but it obviously required quite a bit of effort for them to truly imagine themselves in the shoes of the other.

Another observation was the varying effects of the reality of the conflict on each side. For example, the imbalance of power became strikingly clear when we played an empathy game together. Two chairs were placed in the middle of the group seated in a circle. In one chair sat a Palestinian, in the other an Israeli. A moderator would give the pair a specific historical event and ask the Palestinian to talk about the event from the Israeli’s perspective, and vice versa. When they had finished narrating the “audience” was asked to “vote” for the narrative they felt more empathy with (essentially, which one was more “true” for them). All of the Palestinians felt more empathy for the Palestinian narrative even though it was narrated by an Israeli. The Israelis, however, were split.

In social psychology this is a well-known phenomenon: the strong group can afford to empathize with the weaker side, but the weaker side, feeling it has more to lose, stands firmly with its own.

It was also apparent that Palestinians knew the Israeli narrative better than the Israelis knew the Palestinian story. This was hardly surprising because the majority of Palestinians learn Hebrew which exposes them to the culture, history, and religion (to some degree) of Israelis. Palestinians also hear snippets of the Israeli story almost incessantly: in the media, books, taught to them in school. This is not the case in reverse. Most Israelis do not learn Arabic nor are they exposed to Palestinian history in school. The narratives that Israelis wrote for Palestinians in the conference were largely composed of private stories that they heard from individual Palestinians they had met. Hence we found the Palestinian narratives of the Israeli story to be more historically detailed and factually accurate while the Israeli narratives of the Palestinian story were more personal and anecdotal.

These observations are not mere interesting facts—they have important consequences. Because of their greater advance awareness of the Israeli narrative, Palestinians were more prepared to deal with the Israeli narrative both practically speaking and mentally/emotionally. When Zionist slogans were mentioned they reacted with particular cynicism, but overall it was Israelis who felt more threatened by listening to the narrative of the other.
Their lack of familiarity with the Palestinian story and this sudden confrontation with it made them feel that the truth of their own story was being compromised. The question, “Does accepting the other’s narrative mean that my own narrative is not true?” was a major point of discussion. Because our identities as Israelis and Palestinians are so wrapped up with the history of the conflict this is a very delicate question—but its resolution is crucial to the reconciliation process.
What conclusion did we come to? Listen to these statements by conference participants to see the reconciliation process in progress:

I grew up with a truth and I believed in it but now I’ve heard another narrative that challenges my truth. What am I going to do about that, how am I
going to live with it?

Do I need to give up what I hold dear to understand the other?

I went through 3 stages: In the first, I wasn’t at all used to being in another person’s shoes. In the second, I put myself in their shoes, but realized that it made me vulnerable, because  I’m used to defending my position. In the third stage, my faith taught me to consider and be merciful to the other, challenging me to empathize.

Listening and trying to understand your narrative will help me next time I’m not in this group, but outside. The next time I meet an Israeli soldier, I’ll understand better where he’s coming from.

In other words, how we can reconcile these "two truths" is not the fundamental question, and even less so whose is "more true". These are questions that are too difficult if not impossible, to answer, because history is more complex than any of us is prepared to deal with. The historical events in question as this workshop shows are not black and white: they are filtered through the very gray screen of individual experience. When one recognizes this, it becomes clear that the truth of the other does not necessarily negate my own. This realization enables us to open up and listen to the other, to accept, understand, and respond to his reality with empathy and love.

Of course, there were participants who struggled with this. Some tried to gloss over the differences between us, contesting the need to focus on Israeli/Palestinian narratives. "We have a common narrative because we’re all believers in the Lord”, were the sentiments of some. Insisting on focusing on our commonalities was a reassuring sign that they are in fact empathizing with one another.

This gave us as staff confidence in the strength of relationships that have been built and that they were strong enough to handle such a difficult topic. However, the moderators made clear that, even though this is a very positive attitude, we must confront and come to terms with these separate narratives because the narratives exist whether we focus on them or not. Ignoring them will only allow the tension they create to remain between us, and that tension will continue to rear its ugly head as we try to live together. In contrast, bringing the narratives into the open will help us understand one another in future disagreements, and that strengthens relationships.

As the conference ended participants expressed a desire to get together again to pray, fellowship, to reflect more on the issues that came up and to cover ground we didn’t have time to cover in just two days. Another conference will be scheduled soon to meet that need. ~

Salim in the UK
Salim will be a guest lecturer at the Wycliffe Hall Summer School in Oxford, UK. With 2007 marking the 200th anniversary of the abolition of the slave trade, the School’s theme is Freedom in Christ and has invited Salim to speak about Freedom in the Holy Land: a Palestinian Christian Perspective. Salim will be in Oxford from August 13-23, 2007. If you are interested in having him speak at your church please contact the Musalaha office. ~

New Breakthrough in Youth Worker Training and Reconciliation in the Palestinian Areas
For many years Musalaha put great effort into training Youth Leaders. In 2006 the Danish Israel Mission and Danish Youth Council joined in helping with our youth leader training project and the work increased tremendously. Musalaha was able to send youth workers to Denmark to be trained and at the same time inform people in Denmark about the ministry of Musalaha.

The effect of the conflict on youth is significant, and considering that both the Israeli and Palestinian populations are young, the needs and requests for more work among the youth and youth leaders are increasing. Musalaha’s training was making a noticeable impact as we received positive responses and encouragement from local churches and communities. More and more youth were asking to participate in our reconciliation activities, yet there was still a lack of trained youth leaders in their communities who could provide guidance, support and further training. This positive response and the lack of trained youth leaders prompted us to start a new major initiative of youth worker training in the Palestinian areas, which would allow us to address specific local needs and issues.

The new initiative started by sending four Palestinian youth leaders to Denmark for extensive training. Two came from the Bethlehem area and two from Ramallah in the north West Bank area. After returning from their three-week intensive training, they, along with two Danish volunteers, began developing a training curriculum that would address some of the specific needs and issues of youth leaders in the Palestinian areas and which would also include a reconciliation component. The training course has 2-4 workshops per month for seven months, and includes teaching on leadership, youth development, Christian Palestinians history and history of the conflict, spirituality, discipleship, identity and reconciliation.

The training has a two-fold purpose. The first purpose is combining youth training with reconciliation, two inseparable issues in addressing the impact of the conflict on the youth.

The need for training is significant, but training without addressing the conflict and reconciliation will be lacking. This value is reflected even in the team-teaching provided by two excellent youth-trainers, George Filmon and Yoel Goldburg. George, a Palestinian, and Yoel, an Israeli, are able to model reconciliation to the participants as they teach. Yoel said, "this is one of the most enriching experiences I have had in training."

The second purpose is to recruit youth leaders from a wide spectrum of churches including Catholic, Syrian, Greek Orthodox, Anglican, and Evangelical. We recognize the need to increase understanding, cooperation and unity among the different Christian traditions. Some of the leaders were concerned that churches might not participate if the training is done under the name of Musalaha, a ministry known among the church as standing for reconciliation between Israeli and Palestinian. The response, however, was overwhelming and the leaders were amazed at the eager participation from all the churches.

This new initiative has created a unique opportunity for youth leaders from all the churches in the Palestinian Authority to participate together. Thirty youth leaders from the Bethlehem area and twenty from the Ramallah area are meeting regularly for the training. In addition, we are offering extra in-depth training for the evangelical youth leaders who had previously received some of the teaching. Musalaha is offering unprecedented learning experience that brings all the different denominations and Christian traditions together, encouraging cooperation, increasing understanding among the Christian traditions as they develop personal friendship, sharing the joys and the difficulties of youth work in their communities, and then exploring new ways they can collaborate and support each their.

We at Musalaha are thrilled to see how collaboration and training can have such a huge impact on the communities. God has truly done more than we could ever "think or imagine"! We are seeing increased reconciliation among the youth leaders in the Body of the Messiah, we have a youth training team that is growing in experience and effectiveness, and we have a greater understanding of the needs and issues faced among the youth in the Palestinian Territories. 

We are receiving encouraging reports from the youth leaders regarding the content, style and teaching that they are receiving. One of the project coordinators commented, "The great thing about this program is that it does not first and foremost train you to lead other people.

Rather, it will help you to know yourself, your identity and your background in order to lead yourself and thus enable
you to lead others better."

We are thrilled by this new breakthrough in youth-leader training and reconciliation, and would like to multiply it in other parts of the country. With adequate funding we received from the Danish Youth Council for the Palestinian side of the youth work, we were able to have this break through. We would appreciate your prayers and support as we look for funding to sponsor the Israeli side of the youth work.  We knew there was a great need, and now we have the trained leaders and a tested curriculum to help meet the need. Through this we have new opportunities to influence and impact other segments of society. ~

New Women’s Group in Prague
In January, a new group of twenty women met in Prague, Czech Republic for four days. The Palestinian group, flying out from Jordan, arrived a day before the Israeli group, coming from Tel Aviv. We had all packed layers upon layers of clothing in preparation for the drastic change of climate. Our winter has been relatively warm, with little rain. In the Czech  Republic, on the other hand, everything was covered with snow: leafless trees, huge expanses of open fields, fleets of Skoda cars… Arriving in a new country is always exciting from a cultural perspective, but to suddenly experience a totally new climate fills one with awe of the beautiful diversity of God’s creation.

Even while we were still circling down over Prague in the airplane, this glimpse of His pure white blanket over the countryside told us we were in for four very unusual days.
When the two groups met up in town for our first gathering, we were all asked to share the story of how we got invited to the conference. One of the Palestinians, Areen, said that she has many friends who attend Musalaha projects, but she never wanted to attend any herself.  Sometimes she would even discourage others from attending. Then, however, one of her friends returned from Musalaha’s October ’06 Young Adult Desert Trip and told her about an Israeli soldier who apologized on the trip for things he had done during his service in the West Bank. He publicly admitted that he had not stood up for his beliefs, but had allowed his surroundings to dictate his behavior. When Areen heard this, something in her changed, and at that moment she said to herself, "Maybe it is time to go and experience Musalaha for myself."

I remember that trip in October. It was one of the trips we had a hard time recruiting people for because there were so many other things going on at the same time. As I listened to Areen share this story, I perceived how much influence we, Musalaha participants, have on those around us. When we leave a Musalaha trip, it is not the end of anything: It’s only the very beginning of our work as agents of peace in our communities.

Most of the women were in Areen’s position: attending a Musalaha conference for the first time. As we usually do at such conferences, we divided the group of 20 into smaller groups so that the women could talk more intimately and get to know one another better.  I shared sleeping quarters with three Israelis and two Palestinians. From the beginning, our identity as Christians was clear to all of us. One of the Israelis said, “You are more my family than my neighbor, who is Israeli.

I came here to get to know my sister better.” And yet, at the same time, our sisterhood felt like that of a family divided, one that has been shattered by enmity and has only now dedicated itself to the long, hard path of reunification. The women’s mere attendance was proof of their willingness to persist in that path. Said an Israeli: “You can live your whole life thinking you know something, but you actually don’t. I’ve lived in Israel all my life and I don’t know Palestinians. I came here because I want to meet, understand, and know them.”

Together, we studied biblical principles of reconciliation and the Book of Daniel. From Daniel we learned that, when we are confronted by a conflict between our faith and a threat to our faith, choices have to be made. Over the long term, all such choices we make will determine how and how much we growth in our faith. Facing unusual challenges, that is, stepping outside our comfort zone, forces us to confront such conflicts, to make such choices—forces us to grow in faith. All the participants of this conference did just that: they left their homes, jobs, families, and comfortable lives to come to a foreign country to meet with people considered to be their enemies. We came to this conference not just because we, as believers in Jesus Christ, have a broader and better understanding of the urgent need for reconciliation, but because we understand that we cannot reconcile if we do not grow together in our faith and let it unite us.

The more one interacts with different communities in our country, the more one realizes just how necessary this faith is to our reconciliation. The roots of our segregation reach deep.

My nephew, for instance, is a very energetic, talkative 3-year-old, currently infatuated with repeating people’s words over and over again. The other day, as we were playing together at my parents’ house, he burst out with a degrading comment about Jews. He made the comment in a very adult manner, so it was obvious to us that he had picked it up somewhere. However, a close friend of our family, an Israeli Jew whom I consider to be like an aunt, was also sitting with us, and this was not obvious to her. I laughed (from shock, really) at my nephew’s comment—she did not. And I could relate: It reminded me of times my Israeli friends made jokes at the expense of my people and I didn’t laugh either. The truth about my family is that they couldn’t care less “who you are” or “what you represent”. That is all the more reason why this incident upsets me: even in such an open, loving family as ours, the black tendrils of our society’s hatred and hostility have a hold.

But I am not discouraged, because “Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be pulled up by the roots.” [Matt 15:13] I know that God can change hearts—even whole societies. All we need do is ask Him. For the participants of this trip, the journey toward change and wholeness has already begun. The women still have many more events to attend together in the months to come, and each time their relationships will grow deeper. We at Musalaha believe that it is these relationships that will make change in our societies possible in the long run. After all, “…the root of the righteous yields fruit.” [Prov. 12:12]
~ Shadia Qubti, Project Coordinator

Munayer Family Update
Hello and Welcome To Everybody Reading This Family Update,

 This time I want to write more of a personal reflection on how I [Kay] see our life at the moment rather than a list of who is doing what when although a brief one of those will be at the bottom.

I keep wondering if my life is really different from other folk in other places. The life might be the same but the place complicates things.
As far as the raising of children goes the issues are probably the same..HWK,tidying bedrooms,haircuts [lack of],take your coat its cold [no it’s not it’s hot],don’t speak to your Father in that tone of voice,respect your elders,help more in the house and I could probably fill the page !!!

The place brings complications... HWK is in Hebrew and I can’t help after 3rd grade,you can’t go to Bethlehem with that scruffy hair wearing that silly hat pulled low,we have to leave 20 mins earlier as Condoleezza Rice is visiting and the traffic is bunged up,are you ready yet to tell the boys at football practice your Father is Palestinian ? checkpoint at Bethlehem now requires a special pass to be able to enter through it, I hope they pick you as one of the 10 swimmers going to Iceland to represent Israel even though you are not Jewish,don’t worry about Iran and the nuclear threat ... better to go first if we have to...our family at least know where we are going,ignore the children at school that call you a stinking Arab and try to wind you up they just don’t understand anything,it may seem your Father and I are asking a lot from you the reason is you are a minority,we love you and want you to excel,the odds are against you,we want to be a good witness,don’t waste the gifts and talents you have been given [brains and sport in our case].

 Throw in the fact that we live in a spiritually and politically “hot spot” where wars do happen and people kill each other for ideology daily. Hatred runs high and it shows in the driving,supermarket [checkout girl since finding out Salim is Arab is not speaking to me !],bureaucracy,general behaviour of one person to another,violence at school.
 I am not complaining ,I like my life and am happy doing or trying to do what God has called me to do .Difficulties produce character [I say after they have passed whilst in the middle of them I am a fuming crazy like everybody else].
 I will stop here before Salim says she’s hormonal again...but I am not this time !
 Now for the goings-on.

Jack 17... Heavy exam year .April,May & June one exam after another. Success for him and grace for us !
Daniel 15... Chance to go Iceland [please] swimming in June.Success for him and grace for all of us if he does not get chosen !
John 13...At last a teenager. Football coach wants him to try for the team in a few months [junior league Betar Jerusalem]. Got braces on his teeth starting to do that growing thing of 1cm/month.
Sam 9 ...outstanding swimmer,wants to be baptized [making him wait],regarded as a bit of a pest by his brothers.
Susu...still alive and tweeting at 5 in the morning even with the cage covered.
Salim and I ...married 20 years this April,I will be away visiting my parents in UK for the actual date not that this matters like it used to !
Me,Kay... Forever doing the juggling of husband and his work,children and their amazing talents,ministry with Musalaha women,charity work and Bethlehem visits,staying healthy and surviving the next crisis.
 I think the above has enough prayer items ,no need to write a list.