The Abyss of Revenge and the Freedom of Forgiveness

The past 18 months, our peoples have experienced unthinkable atrocities and violations of human life, dignity and basic freedoms. In this region, the cycle of violence will leave its residue in the minds and hearts of present generations, having deep implications for any future healing or reconciliation. Each act of violence engenders more hatred, gives birth to more enemies, and is widening the gap between Israelis and Palestinians. On both sides, the cries for revenge are overwhelming.

As we respond to the conflict, each of us has a choice between forgiveness and revenge. While most of us do not act out our desires for vengeance, we hold on to a resentment that colors our relationships and attitudes towards 'the other.' We face a decision between "the difficulty of forgiveness and the pleasure of resentment" (Ellis 396). In measuring the effectiveness of revenge and forgiveness, the benefits of forgiveness outweigh the outcome of revenge.

The cost of revenge.

After eighteen months caught in a cycle of violence, the costs of revenge are apparent.

Vengeance fuels the cycle of violence. As one act of violence is repaid with another, more and more people are invited into the cycle of brutality. Carrying out vengeance usually inspires the victim to avenge the punishment, establishing an endless cycle. However, revenge fails to compensate for the offense, and certainly cannot bring back that which has been lost. Violence achieves only more violence.

Acting in revenge does not guarantee justice or security. Often an innocent person is forced to pay the price. When retribution is carried out, its impact causes additional injustice. Thus, as the cycle of revenge perpetrates itself there is no safety or security for either party.

Revenge is a destructive force. On a political level, the strong arm of revenge has destroyed hope and the fabric of trust between our peoples. On a personal level, it destroys the character. Bitterness robs us of our joy, gratitude, grace and ability to love and forgive. This is destructive not only personally but also socially and spiritually, in our relationships with family, community and God. In his book, Embodying Forgiveness, Gregory Jones describes the consequences of revenge: "We are not permitted to allow our anger at those enemies to ossify into hatred, into a persistent desire for their diminishment or destruction. To do so would be to return to complicity in sin. That feelings of hatred and vengeance might surface and might be real is undeniable; but they need to be struggled against. For the habit of hatred and the desire for vengeance not only perpetuate the cycles of violence; they also constrict and thereby distort the vision of the hater " ( 263). Because of an attitude of revenge, we can no longer see the other as created in the image of God.

Revenge is blinding. The person who engages in vengeance cannot see the possibilities of restoration. They waste the energy and resources that could be channeled into a positive agent of change. For them the satisfaction and pleasure of revenge is sufficient, and they lack the foresight to recognize the ultimate reward and transforming nature of forgiveness.

Those who choose revenge assume God's role of judge. In Romans 12, Paul repeats the Old Testament truth that vengeance belongs to the Lord. "Do not repay evil for evil.... Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord".

The Benefit of Forgiveness

Paul proposes an alternative: "On the contrary: 'If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.' Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." Leaving vengeance to the Lord, our task is to do the opposite of our instincts: relieve the suffering of the enemy, even to meet his needs.

By not retaliating, Paul indicates that you can even influence your opponent for the good, reversing the patterns of revenge. There is a corrective measure found in not returning an offence. By forgoing the urge to retaliate, the cycle is broken. Instead of 'giving them what they deserve,' grace enters the situation. This can be a turning point, a moment to consider alternatives, to look at the motives and actions on both sides that fuel the conflict.

As believers we have experienced that grace: our fundamental experience with forgiveness is through the Messiah. "The reason for moving toward reconciliation and forgiveness is that it is the way of Christ, not just as an isolated incident on the cross, but as a central theme of his life. Forgiving is a central theme in the life of God" (Ellis 396). We are commanded in Colossians 3:13 to , " Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Thus we fulfill God's commands and reflect His nature.

Just as we are transformed by forgiveness, we have the ability to transform through forgiveness. This is no easy answer to conflict, but a difficult choice. Without certain elements, such as confession, retribution, and restoration, forgiveness is cheap and without justice. The danger of cheap forgiveness is that it removes the corrective nature, and perpetrates the offence. Authentic forgiveness does not simply 'wash the slate clean,' but does so with a complete awareness and acknowledgement of wrongdoing. The transformation requires a change in the relationship, perhaps a new level of intimacy or painful confession.

We daily find ourselves faced with the decision of forgiveness or revenge. Although the situation seems full of despair, in the Messiah and in His gift of forgiveness, as believers we are given the tools to stand in the gap for our peoples.

Sources: Ellis. G. (2001) "Exploring the Unique Role of Forgiveness". In Forgiveness and Reconciliation. Helmick, R. (Ed.)

Jones, L. G .( 1995) Embodying Forgiveness. William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company.

Women's Prayer Conference

As we find ourselves in a situation where hatred and violence are on the rise, it is very natural for believers to pray in their homes and own congregations, and this is very important. As it says in Matthew 18:20: "For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." When Palestinian and Israeli believers make the steps of faith to come together, overcoming obstacles of fear and enmity, this adds another dimension to our prayer and fellowship. In times when words and ideas have failed, confusion and stress overcome, and it seems that our conflict is unresolvable and irreconcilable, we can turn to the Father.

This year at the Women's Conference, one hundred and thirty women gathered for a prayer retreat by shores of the Sea of Galilee . The women attending had a common task: to bring before the Lord their peoples, lands, witness, joys and burdens. Lisa Loden, head of Musalaha's women's committee, gave excellent teaching and guidance concerning the prayer times. Participants were instructed not to pray against anything but to pray for changes and blessing. As Palestinian and Israeli women united, crying out for His mercy, there was great power and testimony in their prayers.

A first time participant shared in her congregation that she had been somewhat fearful to attend the conference. She was worried that she would not know how to respond to others if they raised certain issues or spoke about their suffering, and that she felt powerless to meet needs or give answers. Yet she was overwhelmed by the power of the unity among believers, especially in the purpose of prayer.

One Palestinian women commented, "I feel such a spirit of love here....Our women went home with a different view of prayer and a different understanding of what it means to meet with Jewish believers." A Messianic Jewish lady attending for the fifth time said, "I am so grateful for the way that these events have changed my view on Palestinian Christians over the years. Look, it is possible to bond and make friends here, we even have a lot in common." Their coming together was an affirmation that the body of the Messiah does still reach across political and cultural barriers.

Please pray for the participants following the conference, that they will be encouraged to continue in the process of reconciliation. We ask for your prayers for guidance, direction, and participation, as we plan further activities with women.

Seminar on Dealing with Trauma and Loss

Lately we have all become more aware of the fragility of life. As the situation worsens, the results of violence lie heavy on the consciousness of both Palestinians and Israelis. We find ourselves in a situation that demands understanding, compassion, and wise counsel. However, few of us have the practical tools to deal with loss, grief, fear and death. Therefore on March 8 ,9 , Musalaha hosted a Seminar on Dealing with Trauma. Forty people who work in congregations, hospitals, and other ministries both in the Palestinian and Israeli sectors, attended the weekend seminar. We were blessed with a gifted speaker, Lynne Halamish, a professional trainer and counselor, specializing in the field of grief and loss.

In these days, many are having difficulty coping in an environment where safety, one of our most basic needs, is threatened. People are used to the natural progression of life and death, but the sudden possibility that a loved one could be a casualty of the conflict is paralyzing. Fear has affected the emotional, spiritual and family lives of both believers and non-believers. Halamish helped us to identify our own fears and 'frame' them, or understand them better so that we can deal with them. In ministering to our peoples who are gripped with fear, this seminar gave us the tools to help others also recognize and face their fears.

Basing her teaching on Biblical stories and scriptures, the speaker discussed comforting and supporting the bereaved, talking to children about death, and the impact of trauma. Halamish emphasized the importance of paying attention to one another, of giving space and 'the stage' to the one traumatized, and of humility in listening. In conclusion, we examined the role of forgiveness in healing. Not only is forgiveness relevant in the midst of grief and loss, but in the broken relationships that are caused by the violent conflict between our peoples.

As time has passed since the seminar, several participants have responded that they feel empowered to help others cope better during this difficult time. "The light went on for the [past] year...." one participant responded. We pray that this seminar will make us more effective in carrying one anothers' burdens and sharing the comfort and love of the Messiah.

Student Gathering, January 25

In January, our staff attended a conference with other organizations working in dialogue between Palestinians and Israelis. There, a general feeling of discouragement was expressed by most. As we sat among 100 others disillusioned with dialogue efforts, we wanted to share in the discussion that as believers we can have a different response and results. The following week Musalaha hosted a gathering for young adults, and our thoughts were confirmed: believers do have a different response and are committed to the reconciliation process.

The student gathering brought together 47 young adults who were former participants on desert encounters. From different parts of the land, young people showed up with a visible excitement over seeing each other again. Through out the day it was important to emphasize the growing necessity for reconciliation through the Messiah.

Musalaha sought knowledge on ways to improve and expand the ministry with young adults. Through discussion groups about possibilities for the future, many interesting thoughts and ideas were developed. Among these one of the themes that emerged was to reach out to communities and fellowships outside of those already involved in Musalaha. Some practical suggestions for doing this included a worship band and participating in service projects that would meet the needs of communities. Many recognized the need for motivating congregations and leaders to become more involved with congregations across political and cultural boundaries. Participants seemed inspired by these talks, and expressed a new hope for the reconciliation process into which they have begun to progress.

We ended the day in prayer for the continued work of Musalaha, and for God to give us strength and courage to be tools for bringing about His peace.

Staff Changes

In March, Musalaha says goodbye to Dania Minor, who has been on our staff for two and half years. Dania and her husband Wes move to the Democratic Republic of the Congo, where Wes has a job with World Relief. Dania was responsible for Musalaha's student activities, and for initiating and coordinating the songbook project. We pray for the Lord's protection and mercy on Wes and Dania, as they fulfill their vision to serve in Africa.

Shelley Zeiger was hired to take over coordination for student activities and other projects. Shelley is a Messianic Israeli Jew, born in South Africa. She is involved in youth ministry in the Tel Aviv area, and is the publisher of a magazine for Hebrew speaking Messianic youth. We are excited to have Shelley as the newest member of our office staff.

Munayer Family Update

Salim has continued teaching and serving as academic dean at the Bethlehem Bible College. Classes were postponed for the past two weeks because of clashes. We thank God for the ability to travel between Bethlehem and Jerusalem, and ask for continued safety. The second book, "Introduction to the Bible," in the Christian curriculum in Arabic for high schools is in the final stages of printing. Salim is also coordinator for developing an extension of the Bethelehem Bible College in the Galilee.

Kay has kept busy running the house and volunteering at Sunbula, the shop selling Palestinian handcrafts. Due to the lack of tourists, the shop is kept open by volunteers. If you would like to check out their beautiful merchandise, you can go to www.sunbula.org.

We appreciate everyone praying for the safety of our children. Their school is in a downtown area where terrorist incidents have taken place. Thank you for your continued prayers as we take them to and from school.

We had a month of celebrations recently, as Daniel, John, and Sam all had their birthdays, turning 10, 8 and 4.

Jack, age 12, is moving up to junior high next year. We pray for him as he makes this transition. He is involved in a Nature/Camping club, exploring the country on short camping trips, and is a huge football fan.

We also want to praise God for healing of Daniel's arm. He is back in full force on the YMCA swim team. Our oldest three are still enjoying swimming in competitions. They are all looking forward to attending Passover camp next week.

John is enjoying second grade. He recently got glasses, and has done well in adjusting to wearing them. We think he looks very cute!

Sam, as one of the few English speakers in his YMCA preschool, was asked to meet Mrs. Cheney, wife of US Vice President Dick Cheney, when they visited the region. Sam was a bit shy at meeting their special visitor!

Upcoming Events

- Leaders Conference, April 1-6

Twenty-two leaders and their families are participating in the Leaders' Conference that will be held in Holland. (The group will consist of 42 adults and 49 children!)

In light of the deteriorating political situation, Israelis cannot enter Palestinian areas and Palestinians cannot leave Palestinian areas, making it nearly impossible to find a meeting place. We were encouraged by the Near East Ministry, that offered to host the conference in Holland. This will be a time to leave behind the stressful situation, to encourage one another, to be renewed, to grow and learn together, so that leaders can better realize the vision of reconciliation in their communities.

Coming together is also very important and helpful for the families. In the past, wives and children have not always been able to attend conferences, so this time there was extra effort to include families. The children will have their own program, sharing in activities and Bible lessons. In light of the fact that young people are affected by what is going on in our societies, schools, and public places, and are not immune from the hatred growing between communities, it is important to bring them together in an event such as this one.

Please pray for safety in travels, wisdom in planning, energy for the staff and program coordinators, and for the funds of $500 per person to cover the travel costs.

- Student Desert Encounter.

This April 1-5, a group of 25 young adults will venture into the desert of Wadi Rum, in Jordan. Due to the political situation, and Palestinians being unable to leave their areas, we were unsure if the trip would take place this year. Praise the Lord that He is making a way for everyone to attend.

As they explore the beautiful setting, we pray that participants will take sincere steps to build relationships with people from the other side.